Holy crap have I been tired lately. I don't think I've had a good night of sleep in over a month. Even with all the work I have been doing, or the early morning workshops I have been going to, or even helping friends move and get things done. I think partly it has been because I haven't heard my princess' voice in that span of time. However, I also think it is because I have been worrying about a lot of things lately.
First, I have been really worried about money lately. My family doesn't have very good money skills. I have had to make some adjustments to help with money. I don't make a lot of money as it is, and my expenses keep piling up. Between living, student loans, family, fun, and planning a future with someone, I have so many obligations. It is so hard to feel calm about it.
Also, I have been worrying a lot about if I expect too much out of my relationship. I am a little frustrated at the moment because she got back from England yesterday, and all I have gotten is a single text message. I know there are a lot of reasons why she hasn't talked to me (her phone isn't working, her parents won't let her, she doesn't want to), but it's hard not to worry something worse. I don't know, it's just hard not to worry that she just hasn't even thought about it. That she has better things to do than talk to her boyfriend for the first time in a month. I know that probably (hopefully) isn't the case, but its hard not to go there. I am terrified she will decide I'm not worth it anymore.
Lastly, I guess, is that I am worrying more and more about the future. I am scared about what will happen in the next few years. My princess should graduate, and we have been talking about what's going to happen with us. We are going to be together, but I am scared it may not go the way I want to. I am excited to start my future and a family eventually and, as lame as it sounds, have those moments you see in movies or on hallmark/jewelry commercials.
This is a really great song.
I've been waiting for this moment all my life, but it's not quite right.
