Look like reflections from the stars...
I have been doing a lot of searching within myself lately. Maybe it's from all the time I have had to be by myself, I just cannot help to think about everything that is rambling around in my head.
Relationships are hard. I am incredibly happy in mine right now, but I guess there are a lot of stages they go through. After attending the wedding this last weekend, I have been regarding them differently. Being with someone does not mean having no fear, or not being afraid. I think a small amount of fear is good, in any part of one's life really. It keeps you sharp, honest, and true. I am terrified the woman I love is going to wake one day and just realize she could do mush better than me. But I am not going to let that ruin the happiness she makes me feel. I am too in love to let something little like that mar the perfection and completion she brings to my life. She has a harder time letting go of hurt that I do. Maybe I am just more practiced, maybe I've just learned to hide it from myself better. I just feel like I am not doing enough for her sometimes, like I should be better. But there's always room to improve. She means so much to me, I just want to give her the world.
I have a week of vacation coming up, and it could not come faster. I am looking forward to going home to Austin and catching up with some friends I have not gotten to see in a long time. I will also help my mom finish the deck and see my sweet as often as possible. I really just want to have fun and enjoy myself instead of constantly having to worry about getting things done. Some down time sounds amazing.
I love stars. Maybe its the dreamer in me, but the stars always just seem to be so peaceful to me. I guess its the idea that they are something else beautiful and yet elusive. When it comes to the stars, my sign is the libra. I really don't put much stock into that, i read the horoscopes but only really to see if they fit the day I have had or not. I do take the chinese zodiac much more seriously. We are in the year of the rabbit, which happens to be my animal. I feel like this year is better than the last, like somehow I have finally turned things around.
I want to change the world. This thought has been consuming my thoughts lately. I want to make a difference. I want to make the world a better place. Some people say it cannot be done, but I think no one has truly tried hard enough. It all comes down to the fact that everyone is out for their own interests these days. United we can stand and change for the better. All it takes is enough people actively trying to make a change and we can help. There are people without homes, without food, children suffering, women scared to voice opinions. It makes me so sad to think about how many people hurt just because no one wants to help. I really miss the homeless shelter I used to volunteer at. It made me feel like I was at least trying to help anyone.
I think of this song whenever I think about the state the world is in.
There is a line in this song that I adore, "You should have been there last night to hear what the big dipper said to me"
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